Q: Do I have to have an MFA to attend one of your workshops?

A: I mean, you can attend, but it’s probably not worth it. There’s a reason everybody who gets an MFA becomes a famous and successful author.

Q: Do you accept unsolicited manuscripts?

Yes, but as our About page mentions, for financial reasons we’re only considering unpublished, deceased authors at the moment. However, we can recommend some excellent estate lawyers who will include Dragon Eagle as a beneficiary in your will, free-of-charge.

 

Q: Do you sell ad space on your website?

A: Not yet, but that’s actually a really good idea.

Q: Where is your office located?

That’s private information, so please stop asking. It’s honestly getting embarrassing.

Q: Why aren’t there more books for sale on your website?

A: Why isn’t there more attractiveness on your face?

Q: Are your books available worldwide?

A: Yes, unless your country is subject to the EUCU.

Q: With what devices can you view your books?

A: The eyes.

Q: Have you considered starting a monthly magazine?

A: Oh, yeah, what a great idea. You’re really, really smart. Our core demographic of people over 75 who still buy magazines is sure to cover printing costs. You might be the smartest person I’ve ever encountered.

Q: Do you offer internships?

A: We can’t offer any school credit, but if you want to work for us without pay, please inquire.

Q: I bought a book and didn’t like it – can I turn it in for a refund?

A: Only if you agree to leave a positive review on Amazon, and write the exact opposite of your opinion.