publishingindustry

Five Must-Know Facts About Manuscript Appraisals

Daniel MadisonLeave a comment

by Qate Blanjett

laughing at book

Manuscript appraisal is one of the cornerstones of the publishing process. It can help you become a better writer and turn your book from a piece of trash even your best friends belittle you for to a best-seller. Simply put, manuscript appraisal is when someone reads an early draft of your book and gives you notes on different structural elements of your story, such as pace, tone, plot, and character.

The feedback you’re given can be life-changing. Many people don’t know this, but George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Fire and Ice was originally a series of cookbooks before a manuscript appraiser convinced him to turn in into the medieval fantasy saga we all know and love today.

Below, I ask and answer five questions about manuscript appraising which I think hope illuminate the process to the uninitiated.

Do I need a manuscript appraisal?

This is an important question to ask yourself. The short answer is, if you haven’t written a book and don’t want to be an author, then no. If so, then yes. The long answer is the same thing but written in a more long-winded, roundabout way that someone who does manuscript appraisal can help you make more concise.

What kind of appraisal service should I choose?

With the rise of digital publishing, more and more appraisal services have been sprouting up. But how is an inexperienced author supposed to know who to choose? Generally speaking, it’s more convenient to pick somebody local, but if you have a small budget, outsourcing the job to West Africa is another good option. Still, you have to be careful. Some red flags to look for:

  • Companies that require a blood sample
  • Companies that don’t have or know what a “website” is
  • Companies that offer an appraisal within 24 hours
  • Businesses registered as toothpaste manufacturers for tax purposes
  • Testimonials that refer to the company as a “bunch of shitheads”
  • Companies that only offer appraisals in the form of “would bang” and “would not bang”

How do I know if my manuscript is ready for appraisal?

Ideally, you’d like to have the best possible draft of your work ready when you start to appraise. But more realistically, you’re a really shitty writer, which is why you’re doing the whole appraisal thing in the first place. So just get to where ever you feel is good and let the people you’re paying do the hard work.

What sort of feedback can you expect?

This is a tough one. Because you’re really just tossing a coin. Some appraisers are less professional than others, and will resort to personal attacks and name calling. They’ll say your ideas are “borderline genocidal” and “a symptom of the decline of political debate in this country.” More level-headed appraisers will be more constructive and positive, telling you “you’re one of the ones who gets it” and “not afraid to offend the snowflakes.”

What should I include when sending in my manuscript for appraisal?

Below I’ve compiled a list of the definitely yeses, definitely nos and definitely maybes.

Definitely Yes

  • Your manuscript
  • A cover letter
  • A killer mixtape
  • A short synopsis
  • Some chocolates or other types of sweets
  • An author bio that forgoes some of your more personal beliefs, such as that of your views on miscegenation

Definitely No

  • Hair and most other types of human remains
  • Somebody else’s manuscript
  • A copy of an already published best-seller
  • Erotic photography of the author
  • A personal manifesto that definitely includes your views on miscegenation

Definitely Maybe

  • Deer hair
  • An assortment of jerked meats
  • An author bio that explains your fragile mental state and likelihood to resort to self-harm when faced with criticism
  • Erotic photography of an attractive person
  • Your return address

Six Huge Changes Coming to the Publishing Industry in the Next Decade

Daniel MadisonLeave a comment

by Qate Blanjett

book publishing

By the year 2028, scientists project more than half of the earth will be populated by people. Global warming will have escalated to the extent that the five largest corporations will be air conditioning manufacturers. The largest city on the planet will be Tokyo and the largest country will be Africa.

Taking into account current financial, academic and social trends, experts project the publishing industry is likely to see the following turbulent changes to its present platform.

1) Free book rental

Due to increasing unemployment in the Western world, millions will have a surplus of spare time but diminishing disposable income in comparison to previous eras. To resolve this problem, many governments will start subsidizing the publishing industry by purchasing large amounts of books, which will be stored at local facilities for open to the public. Readers can go to these places to not only peruse new and old titles, but also to rent books completely free of charge, provided they are returned within a predesignated period of time.

2) Mental link between authors and readers

In the next few years, we’re likely to see companies offer titles that can be downloaded directly to artificial memory chips already installed in a reader’s cerebral cortex, but by 2028, we’ll go a step further. Readers will simply visit their favorite author’s website and for a nominal fee, will be able to “mind-link” with the author and have the latest installment of their favorite saga telepathically transmitted to them. This will also benefit authors by saving countless hours of typing time.

3) The return of papyrus handscrolls

As we’ve seen in the past decade, despite the convenience and availability of emerging high-tech formats, many readers still prefer traditional forms of media. Therefore, we’re likely to see a 1400 percent increase in the amount of handscrolls sold, and the big publishing houses will devote at least 30 to 50 percent of their workforce to transcribing the latest best sellers on these scrolls.

4) Poorly written books will no longer be profitable

Places like Harvard and MIT are already at work on an algorithm that can tell whether a book is good or not. No longer will popularity and acclaim be subject to the whims of the literary critic or the Amazon reviewer. This algorithm will provide every single piece of literature in existence with an unbiased “value score” determining its literary merit. New novels – by debut self-published authors and firmly-established giants alike – that fail to reach a certain threshold will be removed from bookstores and likely deleted from existence.

5) Harper-Collins will buy a five percent stake in Penguin Random House

This will happen on July 18th, 2023.

6) Publisher and author dynamic likely to change

It’s very likely that, due to increase market pressure and a rise in the number of potential clients, established authors will be pressured heavily by publishers to produce work in a timely manner. In one possible scenario, a representative of the publishing company will inject a load of small nanobots into the author carrying a payload of strychnine in polymer sacs that, should she fail to meet a deadline, will be torn and released into the bloodstream causing instant paralysis and death.